It Will Rain
by i'd sink us to swim
Summary: James has screwed up, royally. Now he hatches a plan to put the pieces back together.


"GO AWAY, POTTER! I don't love you, there are no secret feelings! You're an annoying git who can't take a hint. That is all you are to me. Six years of pining and I thought you might have realized that!"

"Lil-"

"No. Potter, I don't want to hear it. I am done listening! Maybe you should start! You never listen… I have said no, countless times! There is no you and me. There's me. And then there's you."

"Lily-"

"No. I hope this will penetrate your thick skull, because if not I don't know how else I will relay this message. IWILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!"

Lily Evans turned and stormed off. The whole common room watched the girl go and the tears glistening in James's eyes begin to fall.

"Prongs-" Sirius began, but Remus held up a hand to stop him.

Before anything else could be said, James dashed up the boys' dormitory stairs, humiliation and devastation raging inside of him.

James did not emerge from the dormitory for four days. Remus brought him food, and he and Sirius attempted to talk to James. Nothing could keep him from wallowing in his self-pity though.

Finally one day James spoke up, but the thing that came out of his mouth gave Sirius and Remus no hope whatsoever.

"I hate myself," he whispered so quietly they almost didn't hear him.

"Prongs… James, don't say that." Sirius retaliated.

"How can I not? I screwed everything up," James said, his voice becoming stronger with each blow to his own self.

"James," Remus began, "Don't. If Lily thinks that, then she's not worth your time." Sirius thought this was wise advise, but James was prepared for this it seemed.

"No," he ground out. "Lily was worth my time, but I was too stupid to see I wasn't worth hers. I used up all my time with her acting like a complete and utter fool. I was a jerk. She asked politely for me to stop and I just kept going. I brought this on myself. There was a point when she would blow, but I was too blind to see it."

Remus and Sirius didn't know how to respond.

"I accept it. I wish it could be different, but I accept it all the same," James stated, finality ringing in his tone.

James didn't practice anything remotely religious until that day. The day he decided he hated himself.

Every night, though convinced it did nothing to help his cause, he prayed for Lily to forgive him. This was the only way he had thought of to get any help with his situation. Sirius and Remus thought he should forget about Lily Evans, but it was impossible for him to fathom such a thing, let alone achieve it.

He hoped that by leaving Lily in peace, she might be more willing to forgive him. He was quite unsure though. Lily was getting what she wanted now, but it was a relatively late response to her wishes. She might be past the point of forgiving. Lily was rarely known to forgive. Just look at Severus Snape.

As much as he wished he could have Lily by his side, he couldn't. Instead he kept his best kept secret by his side: a picture of the girl he loved. He kept it inside his pillowcase. A snapshot of a happier time.

By keeping his distance, James was also attempting to keep things from getting any worse than they already were. He would not allow Lily to step walk away from him completely if he could help it.

Lily was James's sun.

If Lily was gone, there was no sun.

Sunlight breaks through the dark spots in the sky.

Without his sun, James's purpose in life would be forever unclear.

James couldn't stop the tears from flowing at the thought of losing Lily Evans forever.

Lily's parents would never like him, that much was clear. James had no idea why this was popping into his head now, but it probably was consequence of his consistent thoughts of Lily.

His thoughts were still on Lily and her parents. What if he never got to meet them? That might be because Lily never forgave him. It was obvious anyway that they would never like him, and he couldn't blame them.

They would hate him after all the grief he caused their daughter.

No one could understand, not even Lily. It was essential that Lily understand: James Potter was utterly and completely and unchangeably in love with Lily Evans.

James was going to make everyone see. Everyone would understand.

For Lily. It would always be for Lily.

He was going to scrape together what was left of the relationship he had with Lily. It wasn't much, but he'd build it back up from there.

He'd do anything to get Lily to love him as much as he did her.

Lily was James's sun.

If Lily was gone, there was no sun.

Sunlight breaks through the dark spots in the sky.

Without his sun, James's purpose in life would be forever unclear.

James couldn't stop the tears from flowing at the thought of losing Lily Evans forever.

He was going to act. A plan formed in his mind and he decided to set it into immediate action.

That night at the Great Hall, a feast was being served. As Dumbledore clapped to clear the tables of the remnants of the food, the lights also clicked off. Several screamed, but before anyone could truly panic a spotlight fell of the Gryffindor table. A flustered redhead, to be more exact. A light, sad sound of music came from somewhere in the room and suddenly James Potter jumped onto the Gryffindor table.

"For Lily," he said quietly, almost shyly. Lily had never seen him act this way. She was at a loss as to what to think, but her thoughts were quickly driven from her mind when James began to sing.

_And everything fell into place… Everyone understood._

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><p><em><em>**Please Review! **

**This may be a little confusing because the lyrics were taken out, FFn rules and all. There was a line of lyrics in certain spots throughout the fic and at the end there was the cluster of what was left, which is what James sang and it started from the line about not saying goodbye to the end of the song. I think I'm just confusing you more however so I will just shut up.**

**:)**


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